6 October 2008
I've just added a page of links from UPSD... if you know of any others just let me know!
20 September 2008
I've just (today) been accepted in WORD and SUGAR! I'll get dedication pages up as soon as I can!
29 August 2008
Woohoo! At last! I'm back online at last after several months of being away from you all I'm back to pester you now!
25 March 2008
I've just put up my Special Character License to Pix-a-doodles on my membership page
27 February 2008
I've just become a member of Pixel House too! As with all my other memberships you can get to it from my Memberships page
29 November 2007
I don't know when this will be online as I've got a new computer and no FTP software on it yet, but I've just put a page on forgiveness up... it's something I'm working on atm and I hope you find it as helpful as I am!
4 November 2007
I've just become a member of Tube Town and Rose Creations... you can get to the sites from my membership page
20 April 2007
I've just opened a store that you can get to here - if you buy anything, part of your payment comes to me so that I can keep this site free!
17 March 2007
I've just updated the remembrance page with some memorials to WOSIB sisters
12 March 2007
I've just updated the r*pe page with some links that may help victims of male r*pe in America
5 March 2007
I've just been accepted into PMS! I must be nuts joining all these groups but I love it and I've made so many friends!
24 February 2007
I've run out of ideas and need your help! I've got loads of pages up already but don't know what else you want to read about so could you email me with your ideas pretty please?
11 February 2007
I've just set up a shop - it would be great if you could take a peek and maybe buy something?
27 July 2006
I've just uploaded the cups for a competition that I'm doing on this site and my personal site - all you've got to do is find them and send me the 10 URLs!
25 July 2006
I've just created the group so if you'd like to join, the URL is Mandy's Updates and it'll have updates from this site and my personal site and I'm the only one who can post to it so it'll be really low volume :o)
11 July 2006
I'm thinking of setting up a yahoo group for updates and stuff but I need some feedback before I take it on! Just let me know what you think and if I decide to open it I'll put a message on here and my Contact Me page so that you know what's happening as it happens :o)
10 July 2006
I joined Garden Of Friendship yesterday! You can see my badge on the Memberships page if you'd like to? I'll hopefully get some dedication pages to them up soon!
8 June 2006
I've been getting loads of spam recently so if you email me can you put something that obviously isn't spam. I've just got one with the title of "open me now" but when I checked the email address it was obviously spam! Sorry!
7 May 2006
I'm thinking of putting a review section on the site so if you like this idea then let me know what you think of your meds/therapy and I'll put it up! :o)
3 April 2006
If you've lost someone through suicide and you live in the UK, then give Survivors of Bereavement By Suicide a call on 0870 241 3337 - I don't know what they're like but if you phone them can you let me know what you think please?
15 February 2006
What would you like to see on these pages 'cos I've run out of ideas! Just email me here with your ideas and we can work together at getting more pages up here :o)
22 December 2005
I've just added another doodah onto the What Not To Say - Suicide page
18 August 2005
Hugs R Us has just won an award! Congratulations!
16 May 2005
Suicide and Mental Health Association International has just won an award!
9 May 2005
I've just added another story to my "Our World" section in the SH bit. Thank you for sharing your story with us Sheri!
3 May 2005
Tom has just won an award! Congratulations Tom!
24 April 2005
I've just added another alternative to my list of self-harm alternatives - if you know of any others, you can reach me on my "contact me" page :o)
27 June 2004
Apologies for not updating sooner but I was hospitalised on Christmas Day last year (for a physical illness) and I've only just started coming back online! There *will* be more things coming soon, I've just got to get myself better first... please be patient with me and there will be an update/new stuff as soon as I can get my head around things :o)
15 October 2003
Elaine (of Medusa Rages) has just won my "Marvellous Mental Health Website" award!! WTG, Elaine! You can visit her site by going to my award winners page :o)
2 October 2003
Christine (of Planet Abyss) has just won my "Marvellous Mental Health Website" award! Congratulations, Christine! You can visit her site by going to my award winners page :o)
3 September 2003
I figured it was about time I wrote something on here so you guys know I haven't dropped off the face of the earth! lol It's coming to "that" time of year when I fall down into the deep, dark, bottomless pit of depression again and I won't be able to drag myself out until early next year :o( I try and keep up with my emails as best I can during this time but if you email me, please be patient with me if I don't get back to you straight away - it's not 'cos I don't want to, it's 'cos I can't :o(
3 July 2003
I've just added 3 poems written by Katelyn to the poetry section of my site - they are on page 7 :o) Thank you so much for letting me put them on my site, Katelyn!!
19 June 2003
A visitor to my site emailed me his story a couple of days ago and he's very kindly allowed me to share it with all the visitors to this site. I've put it on the "Our Story - Depression" page if you'd like to see it :o) Thank you so much for sharing this part of your life with us, Andy!
28 May 2003
After many months of putting it off, I've finally got my OCD page up online!! At last!! lol There's not much on the page right now 'cos my brain feels like it's stuffed full of cotton wool but I'll add more to it over time - at least it's up there!!! lol
26 March 2003
I've just added another comment to the r*pe what not to say page after someone emailed me with the suggestion - you know who you are... thank you!
I'm working on the OCD page - honest!! I will get it up soon... just got to find time to finish it off :o\
25 February 2003
I'm sooo sorry I still haven't updated anything... I'm just not coping too well right now. My emails are piling up (83 to reply to and 208 to read at the time of writing) and I just can't seem to get my arse in gear to do anything :o( I'm hoping to have something up about OCD soon but I haven't got a clue when it'll be :o\ Sorry everyone, I'm just not in a good place right now :o(
19 January 2003
I'm sooo sorry there haven't been any updates for over a month! I've been having loads of computer problems (again!) and I'm headed for another breakdown (again!) so for a while I didn't have computer access then when I got the computer problems sorted I just haven't been well enough to do anything to the site :o(
If you've emailed me and I haven't replied yet, please be patient with me? At the time of writing this I've got 59 emails waiting for me to reply to (yep, that's right, not just read, but actually sit down and reply to) and those emails are just from the last couple of days!! I love hearing from the visitors to this site, but if I don't get back to you straight away, please be patient with me!! :o)
I've added a link to the Depression and Bi-Polar Support Alliance and the Workplace Lawyer site to my links page (thanks Ron!)
Please keep on checking back here for more updates... as soon as I'm back on top of my emails I'm planning to get to work on a page for OCD and maybe make one for my Inner Child, but I'm not so sure about that one yet!
9 December 2002
I found out yesterday morning that another friend has taken their life and another friend texted me in the early hour of yesterday morning saying they were going to make an attempt... I haven't heard anything since :o( I hate this time of year :o(
20 November 2002
Wooohooooo!!! I'm finally back online!! Yaaay!! There were a few little problems but they seem to be all ironed out and sorted now and I'm finally back up and running!
I'm pretty sure everything is uploaded and working and everything - but this site is well over 200 pages now and I dread to think how many images there are so I've probably missed a few pages or images or something along the way, so if you spot a broken link or an image that isn't showing up, could you let me know and I'll get it fixed asap :o)
1 November 2002
Well, I've finally done it!! I'm going to be moving this site over to a new webhost 'cos my current one is waaaay too unstable and wouldn't know what uptime was if it jumped up and smacked them in the face. So, yeah, I'm moving! Don't worry, everything is gonna stay the same... same URL and everything, but it means that this site and my email addy that goes with it is going to be down for about a week or so while I move everything over and get settled in to my new home. You can still contact me during that time though!! Either leave a message in my guestbook or on the forum or email me at my personal site email addy which is mandy@mandysworld.com - if everything goes smoothly then it should only take about a week from start to finish and then hopefully it'll be the last time I have to do this! :o) Wish me luck everyone!!
I've just got back from seeing Dr Invisible (the shrinky-dink who never turns up for appointments) and he was only 10 minutes late this time (at least he actually turned up!!) and either he's changed or I have since May 'cos he was a totally different person! He actually shut up and listened to me a little bit! I even got a couple of labels out of him!! How ace is that!! He's diagnosed me with CFS/ME and OCD... he said that my hyperness wasn't hyper enough to be Bi-Polar. For the first time in almost exactly a year since my first appointment-that-didn't-happen with him I've actually come out of there without feeling like I've been banging my head against a brick wall for 30 minutes!!
I *think* I've updated all the pages on this site with my new labels, but if you spot somewhere that I've missed, just gimme a yell and let me know the URL :o)
29 October 2002
I've been doing a bit of housework on my webrings page and move all the Webring.com webrings over to their own page... hopefully it should make it a bit more easy to navigate between the various rings now :o)
25 October 2002
I've just updated the Manic Depression page with some more info that a friend sent me - thank you iriXx!!
I've been doing a lot of research since Monday and I think I've finally decided what I'm going to do... I still need to think things through properly though and make sure the decision I've made really *is* the right one...
22 October 2002
There may not be many updates to this site for a little while... I've got a lot on my plate that I need to think through and, tbh, I'm really not up to being online right now. Sorry everyone. Please keep me in your thoughts or prayers or meditations or whatever - I could use all the help I can get right now.
20 October 2002
I added a bit more to the Manic Depression page recently, but totally forgot to update this page! Oops! I've got a bit more to add to it soon so keep checking back!!
One of my online groups closed it's doors on 18 October (waa!! No fair!!) but I've decided to keep everything as it was and just not update the dedication pages.
I've just applied to join another 2 PWOTW webrings... I really must see about joining a few other webrings!!
My webhosts are doing some more screwing around with the servers so my site and email are going to be down for a while (again!!) tomorrow. They reckon it'll only take about 2 hours, but based on past experience it'll prolly be more like a couple of weeks before everything is back up and running again!! If you try and email me and it gets bounced back, just keep on trying and it'll go through eventually :o) Sorry about all the hassles recently - as soon as PowWeb have got everything back online again this time, I'm changing servers so there's a bit more downtime to come but hopefully my email and this site should be a lot more stable after that! :o)
18 September 2002
I've just added another award to my Awards page - thank you so much Demi!!
I'm not sure when you'll get to see this, 'cos yet again PowWeb (my webhosts) are denying there is a problem despite this site and my email being up and down more times than a yo-yo since the weekend *sigh* November can't come soon enough.
16 September 2002
I've just added a visitor's personal experience of Manic Depression to the site... you know who you are - thank you so much!
I've been having problems with my webhost overnight and so far this website has been down for 14 hours (and counting!) even though FTP is working, so I'm uploading this now, but I haven't got a clue when it will actually show up - I'm sooo sorry!! :o( I'm changing hosts when it comes up for renewal in November so hopefully I won't have any more problems after that!
11 September 2002
I've just added another page to my Writings Section of the site... thank you to Gen for contributing everything on that page!
9 September 2002
I love life as a Depressive... not! For the first time in the whole 5 year (or is it 6 years now?) history of my mental illness something happened to me over the weekend that scared the doodah's out of me! There's too much to say about it on here but for those of you who were here about 2 years or so ago, you might remember that I had an online diary on here that I took down when I didn't feel safe enough to have it online any more? Well, I've decided to start it up again but this time it's not gonna be just (ha! just!) about my depression and various mental illnesses, this is gonna be about me as a person. If you fancy having a read of it, I've put it on my personal site - there isn't too much up there atm, but it's a start! :o)
I'm also going to make a non-frames version of this site at some point, but it's just getting waaaay too big now so I've got to try and work out a way to do the navigation without using javascript before I even think about taking that task on!! Bear with me though and it'll happen... eventually!!!
Still researching Manic Depression so keep on checking back on that page for any updates :o)
31 August 2002
I've made a start on a page for Manic Depression... there isn't very much on the page atm, but hopefully with the help of some friends and lots of research I'll be able to put more and more on there!
If you've been here recently you may also notice a slight change in the navigation... I figured I'd try and make it a bit more methodical so it's now arranged so that all the usual homepage kinda stuff is at the top - the bits about me and the home page and this page and the important info and ways to contact me and all that stuff, they're all at the top. The next navigation section is for the various forms of mental illness so Depression, Psychosis and Manic Depression/Bi-Polar Disorder live there now. The next section is things that can happen as a result of the mental illness so things like Insomnia, Flashbacks, Self-Harm, Suicide and all that kind of thing live in that bit now. The next section is for... what's the word... for things that have caused my Depression, so things like R*pe, A*use, Miscarriage and Harassment. The next bit down is all the other stuff to do with mental illnesses that don't fit into one of the categories I've already mentioned, so I've put the hospital form, the "Our World" page and the survival page and gifts in that bit. Everything else on the navigation is still the same :o)
30 August 2002
Well, apparently I wrote and uploaded the Psychosis page at some point although I really don't remember doing it!! lol I haven't read it (it'll set the psychosis off again if I do) so please don't hold me responsible for anything I said while I was psychotic - what is up there is what I go through and I don't remember any of it :o\
I've also had a suggestion to put up a section on here about Manic Depression (you know who you are - thank you!!) but I know very little about it. I ain't gonna let that stop me though! lol I'm gonna start looking into it and all that kind of stuff and get a page up as soon as I can, but in the meantime, if you have Manic Depression and you can offer me any insight into it or you'd like to write a bit about it in the section or you can offer any hints or tips on ways to cope with the mania then I'd love to hear from you!
I'm also thinking of putting a section up about Schizophrenia but I don't know very much about it at all :o( If you are Schizophrenic or you have some kind of experience with Schizophrenia and you fancy helping me out with this section, just hit the keyboard and send me an email!! :o)
26 August 2002
I'm sooo sorry I haven't updated anything for so long... motivation is a huge problem for me right now - I can't even find the motivation to get off the sofa (I sleep on the sofa 'cos of the physical illness... long story) until lunchtime and then it takes me another couple of hours to log on and check my email which gives me about 3 hours to do everything in before hubby gets home from work and I put my guard back up again *sigh*
I'm still working on the psychosis page but it's not coming along very well... I always log off the computer when I get psychotic and the only way I'm going to get the page done is when I'm psychotic *sigh*
The end of September and beginning of October are going to be very hard for me to cope with 'cos it'll be the 6 year anniversary of my twin miscarriage and it's my birthday in the middle of that week too so I don't know how much I'll be able to update the pages until about mid October
I'm also sinking faster than the Titanic... every time I think I've hit rock bottom I discover that it's just a false floor *sigh* Can anyone out there give me a good reason to live 'cos I can't find any atm :o(
If you've got any ideas of things you'd like to see on these pages, I'd love to hear from you 'cos I've totally run out of ideas now and I'm not sure what sort of things you'd like to see on here, so if you've got any thoughts, ideas or suggestions, it would be wonderful if you could send them my way!! :o)
If you've read everything on these pages and you want to get to know the person behind this site a bit better, maybe take a trip on over to my personal pages - there's links to all the other pages I've got online there too :o)
7 August 2002
I'd like to be the first to congratulate Karen, owner of "SI - The Secret Pain" website for being the most recent winner of one of my awards!! Congratulations Karen!!
I still haven't heard anything about or from the CPN I'm supposed to be getting. No surprise there then *sigh*
4 August 2002
I've just added a few more links to mental health and depression websites to my Links page. I could swear I've got somewhere on this site where I've got helpful phone numbers for the UK and stuff but the site is just too big for me to keep track of everything now so if you spot any phone numbers on your travels around this site, could you send me the URL of the page please so that I can update that page too. Thank you soo much! You can email me at mandy_2@hotmail.com
Until I can find out which page I've put the phone numbers on, I'll put them here so I know that they are *somewhere*! :o)
Samaritans - 08457 90 90 90 in the United Kingdom or 1850 60 90 90 in the Republic of Ireland or email jo@samaritans.org - 24/7/365
National Advice Service - 020 8974 6814 10am - 3pm Mon-Fri
Saneline - 0845 767 8000 12am - 2am
MIND - 08457 660 163 9.15am - 5.15pm
24 July 2002
I've just realised that I haven't put anything on here about the winners of my new awards!! Oops!! Take a trip on over to my "Apply For My Award" section and there's a link at the bottom to see the list of everyone who's won an award - congratulations to each and every one of you!!
I also think I need to write down somewhere my full (most current) diagnosis. I know I've got stuff about it on my About Me page, but I need it just sort of written down as a 1 line diagnosis kinda thing y'know? I dunno why, but a diagnosis is very important to me, so here we go...
Official diagnosis: Chronic Psychotic Depression with Self-Harm tendencies and Suicidal Idealisation.
The diagnosis I think I should have: Chronic Psychotic Depression with Self-Harm tendencies and Suicidal idealisation, mild Bi-Polar Disorder, Paranoid Personality Disorder and OCD
I still haven't heard anything about the CPN... now why doesn't that surprise me?
I've just taken an online personality disorders test - here's my results... erm... *gulp*!!!!
|
Disorder |
Rating |
|
Very High | |
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High | |
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High | |
|
Low | |
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Very High | |
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High | |
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Low | |
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High | |
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High | |
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High | |
16 July 2002
I've just got back from an appointment with my GP (another waste of time with me banging my head against a brick wall and him refusing to listen). He's changed my Mental Illness diagnosis to Chronic Psychotic Depression (I was first diagnosed with Reactive Depression 5 years ago and nobody had bothered following it up and giving me a new diagnosis) and we've come to a compromise that I consider taking Citalopram and look into taking St. John's Wort if I decide against taking Citalopram. He's also going to refer me to a CPN - I'm not holding my breath though. I guess you could call it progress in a round about sort of a way.
I've updated the About Me page of this site to reflect my new diagnosis. It's taken me 5 years to get this far... I'm seriously starting to wonder why I bother.
11 July 2002
I've just added my SCA membership graphic and a link to my SCA dedication pages to my Memberships page
I've also just signed up for the SCA webring and the code is on my Webrings page now... I'm just waiting to be accepted! :o)
7 July 2002
I've just added a memorial to the 2 friends I lost in one of my online communities - Lisira (aka Lady Disco) and Gail Lopez. You can see my memorial to them in the "In Memory Of..." section of this site. I miss them both like you wouldn't believe :o(
21 June 2002
I think I'm about as ready as I can be to reopen the new awards programe, sooooo - drumroll please... as of today the Mandy's Depression Homepage awards are back up and running!! Yaaaay!!
18 June 2002
I've decided to change the first page of this site and put up a permanent memorial to everyone I have lost in my life. Please help me to remember my lost loved ones... it would mean a lot to me. Thank you.
10 June 2002
This psychosis page is a nightmare!!! I've lost count of the number of times I've scraped it and restarted it!! aaarrrggghhh! I think the only way I'm going to get it done is to wait until the next time I get psychotic and write it all out as it happens. I don't know how much sense it will make to do it like that, but I think, for the moment at least, it's going to be the only way I am going to get anything written and online :o(
I'm also thinking of restarting my awards programme. I had a go at it when I first put the site up but gave up in the end. I've seen lots more sites that deserve recognition since then though so I'm going to reopen it and give it a whole new look. The people who won my award the last time I had it open, the awards are still totally valid and always will be, but if you'd like to reapply for one of my new awards (when I've got them ready) I would love to see your site again! :o)
20 May 2002
Well, the psychosis page isn't coming along very well unfortunately... this has to be one of the hardest pages that I've written!! I just can't remember what happens... it's sooo frustrating!! :o( I can remember bits when it first starts off then I just go into a kind of fog and it's just totally blank after that :o(
On a more positive note though, I've been applying for a few awards for this site and in the last week or so and I've been awarded 3, yes, *three* awards!!! Thank you so much to Bearz Webworks, A Woman's Touch and The Internet Beacon for considering my website worthy of your awards!
14 May 2002
I guess he didn't Section me then huh? The appointment was only 15 minutes long and not a lot happened. I saw him again yesterday and he's prescribed me some anti-psychotics so now that I know that I get psychotic I can start putting together a section on this site about that! It's going to take me a while because there is only so much I can remember when I get psychotic and then it all gets cloudy and weird and I can't remember anything about what happened during that time, but hopefully with the help of my friends who have been with me while I've been psychotic (thank you Pete, Fil and Jay!) I will be able to start piecing the bits together enough to be able to put something up here for you all :o)
I've been concentrating on doing my personal website for the last month and it's really starting to come together now! I've totally broken the mould of this site and just kind of done whatever has felt right at the time. The personal site is going to be a place where I can learn and develop and grow and I would love it if you would come on over to visit me there and maybe learn and grow with me too :o) The URL is http://www.mandysworld.com. Eventually it's going to become a part of this site, but for the moment I need to keep it separate so that I can separate the different parts of my life (the Depression part and the mask part)
One of the things I've recently added to are the Survival Gifts. I've been using PaintShop Pro for a few months and I've recently started venturing out into the world of online tutorials. One of the tutorials I've made over the last couple of weeks was of a sad clown and it seemed to just scream at me "child a*use gift!!!" so I emailed the owner of the tutorial and asked for her permission to use it and she agreed. You can now pick up the little clown I made on the Survival Gifts page and give him a good home on your website.
I add a few updates to this site every week or so, but because they aren't big updates I don't say anything about them on here. Keep on checking back - this is a huge site (200 pages and counting!) so don't worry if you can't get through it all in one sitting... bookmark the site and keep on coming back. Remember to stay safe no matter where you go on the site - if you start to feel unsafe at any point there is a whole section in the navigation bar just devoted to safe and fun things... stuff that will hopefully help to keep you safe :o)
17 April 2002
I've got an appointment with a Psychiatrist (or is he a Psychologist?) a week on Friday and I'm seriously considering asking him to Section me. If he agrees that's gonna mean that I'm not online for a while so there won't be any updates to this site or my new one that I've been working on. Soooo, I've decided that I should let you all know the URL of my new site even though it's still very much under construction right now just in case I *am* Sectioned next week. The URL for my new, personal website is http://www.mandysworld.com
4 April 2002
Urgh! What a month! I've had computer problem after computer problem after computer problem! Arrrrggghhh!! Ah well, I'm back now and trying to find my feet again. I've done a little bit of updating to the site but I've only been back online for a couple of days so I've got a lot of catching up to do. You can find updates on the links page, Self-Harm page and the Just For Fun page. I've also added a quilt square to both my quilts
The new site that I'm working on is slowly starting to come together now. I still need ideas for things I can put on it though 'cos I'm totally stumped! I've never done a totally personal website before so I haven't got a clue what I'm doing. What sort of things do you guys want to know about me? What sort of stuff do you want to see on the pages? Any ideas gratefully accepted! :o)
1 March 2002
I've finished putting the final touches to the new section and it's now online!! It's not as big as I wanted it to be because I lost a lot of stuff when I lost the plot a while ago and deleted everything that wasn't online :o( The new section is called "Survival"
I'm going to try and concentrate on the new website for a little while now... there will still be updates here so keep on checking back, but I'd like to try and get this new site ready as soon as I can - I'm going to link it to the About Me page when it's ready. I'm more than just my Depression, although the Depression is a huge part of my life. Hopefully this new website will give you an insight into who I really am... not just the Depressive, but the *person*. I've had lots of people asking me about who the person behind this website is - who Mandy is... hopefully the new site will be able to answer a lot of the questions you may have about me but if there are still some things you want to know, feel free to ask away and you never know, your question may just produce another section on the new site!! :o)
26 February 2002
I've just found out that another friend decided to end their pain at the weekend. I'm really not coping too well right now... it's less than 2 weeks (14 February - Valentine's Day) since I lost my last friend the same way! I've lost 10 people in about 18 months/2 years now and I just can't handle losing anyone else!
I've got the new section all ready to upload, so keep on checking back... hopefully it won't be too long now
The new, more personal, site is coming along brilliantly now too. I've still got quite a lot to do on it but it's starting to take shape now! Keep on checking back for more updates!
18 February 2002
I've been making a few updates to some pages offline over the last couple of weeks and I'm hoping to get them uploaded soon so keep on checking back to see what I've done!
I've also pretty much finished the new section I was working on, and thanks some of my WOSIB sisters I've been able to expand the gifts pages... I'll be uploading the new section at the same time as all the other updates so keep on coming back to see when it's up and running!! If you'd like to join my website mailing list to find out when this site gets updated before anyone else, you can join up using the little boxy form thing that's at the bottom of most pages on the site... it's very low volume - I only send out messages when I've updated the site or to let you know something about the website.
I've also been asked by 2 people in the last couple of days if they can use some of the content on this site on their website... you don't know how much it means to me that people actually take 5 minutes to ask for my permission! I've decided that in addition to my copyright notice on the Important Information page I'm going to start up another mini-website dedicated to those people who ask my permission to use my work and also dedicated to those people who don't give a damn. The Wall Of Thanks and the Wall Of Shame will cover all my websites that I've made and the people who end up on the Wall Of Shame can expect me to consider taking legal action against them.
4 February 2002
I've just been awarded the Humanitarian Award and Kindness Award by Gateway to Friendship!!! OMG! Thank you sooo much Debbie!!
I've been a busy little beaver trying to get a bit more done to my membership dedication pages and I'm starting to work on dedication pages for my newest groups, so please bear with me if it doesn't look like I'm updating very much... there *will* be updates, I'm just trying to get the dedication pages the way I like them first :o)
The Survivor page I've been working on has hit a major stumbling block - my lack of inspiration!! It's all ready to be put up here except for one graphic! It just doesn't look right and I'm a total perfectionist so I can't put the page up until that graphic looks the way I want it to look! lol
I've also started work on a totally different site. This website (mandysdepression.com) is concentrating on Depression and the issues surrounding it, but I'm more than my Depression, and I need something for *me*... something where I can put anything and everything... somewhere I can learn about myself and get to know myself - and that's what I'd like this new site to be.
31 January 2002
One sentance just about sums up how I've been feeling recently... "I'm not waving, I'm drowning" *sigh* Not feeling too good mentally and I can't seem to motivate myself to do *anything* unless someone shoves a stick of dynamite up my bum *sigh* Such are the joys of Depression I guess :o(
I'm getting ants in me pants about the design of the site again... I fancy a new look - again!! I've got a couple of ideas but good old lack of motivation won't let me do anything about it :o( What kind of thing do you all fancy next? Something dark and depressing or something light and cheerful or something inbetweeny?
I still haven't been able to motivate myself enough to do any more work on the Survivor page unfortunately... I'm just feeling so incredibly bleurgh recently!!
I've added few bits and bobs on various pages and joined a couple more online groups (yay for me and this website for being accepted! woohoo!) and I've rejigged the webrings page in a vain attempt at getting it to load faster but something appears to have gone wrong in a major way towards the bottom of the page, so I'll keep working on trying to find out what I've done wrong and fix it... in the meantime, sorry about the mess!!
22 January 2002
Urgh!! What a nightmare! I'd been having problems with my laptop since the day I got it and it finally decided to give up the ghost a couple of weeks ago which resulted in me not having the laptop anymore *sigh* I've just finished getting everything set up on the PC and I think I'm all ready to get back in to action. I went out and bought myself another laptop at the weekend and it's supposed to be getting delivered on 28th Jan... I can't wait!
While I've been offline I've done *loads* of updating! There's still a lot more housework to do but I've made a start on it and added a few bits and pieces to the site too. There's too much to list here, but check out the Friendship/Causes quilt, the About Me page, the Self Harm Page, Memberships Page (I've started making dedication pages for all the groups I'm in now... it'll take me a while to get through them all so please excuse the dust!), the Awards Page, Writings Page and the Links Page (I've added a link to an incredible page made by one of my WOSIB sisters... it's a definite must-see!)
I've started work on (and I've almost finished) a new page that I'm going to put on the site about what it means to me to be a Survivor. I'm going to have some graphics/gifts (not sure what to call them) on the page that you can take with you to your site to help to raise awareness of the various issues. I'm not going to say too much atm 'cos I don't want to spoil the surprise but keep checking back to see when it's uploaded! :o)
4 January 2002
Sorry I haven't updated for a few days... things have been happening IRL and I'm really not coping at all right now :o(
I've just updated the r*pe page to include a bit about male r*pe. People seem unwilling to talk about male r*pe and it's kind of like a taboo subject I guess. Personally I think that's wrong... there are male victims of r*pe just like there are female ones and they need just as much support as anyone else who has been r*ped
My inspiration seems to have deserted me for some reason and I really don't know what else to put on the site so if anyone has any suggestions I really would love to hear from you - I'm a human being just like you and all the other visitors to the site and I need to know what you all want to see and read on here :o)
29 December 2001
I've been having a really rough time over the last week so I haven't been able to do very much and things look set to get even harder for a while so bear with me if I don't get a chance to do many updates... it's not 'cos I don't want to, it's cos I can't :o(
I've added another gift to my Membership Gifts page
I've added another poem to the Writings page... I couldn't decide if I should put it on the "In Memory Of.." pages for the friends I've lost to suicide or if I should put it on the page about my suicidal feelings so I figured I'd put it on the Writings page until I could decide :o)
I've added a link to a new page on the Self Harm page... the new page is about what SH urges feel like and what I get out of SH. I've tried to explain urges in a way that hopefully most people can understand but if it doesn't make sense and you'd like me to try and explain the urges to you in a different way then feel free to email me! :o)
20 December 2001
I've updated my Memberships page
I've updated my Awards page
I've updated my Gifts page
I've updated my Harassment page
I've decided to make the Friendship quilt into a Causes quilt too, so if you have any causes that you support and would like to add a square just let me know! :o)
I've added some more squares to the Friendship/Causes quilt
18 December 2001
I've added a couple of things to the "Just For Fun" page... see if you can spot what's new there!! :o)
I've also made a couple of small updates around the site - just a bit of housework y'know? :o)
16 December 2001
I've added a joke to the Jokes Page and I can't decide how I feel about it so I'm asking for votes. Your vote will be totally anonymous - I won't know *any* of your details about who you are or anything like that... I'm just interested in people's opinions on this kind of joke :o)
I've also just found out that I've been accepted into RAOK! Thank you everyone!
I've also just been awarded a Golden Web Award!!! Woohooo!!! I'm dead chuffed!! Thank you to everyone at Golden Web Awards!
I've just finished going through the website trying to find all the dead links... all the links should work now but if you come across one I've missed it would be brilliant if you could let me know! Thank you!
13 December 2001
I've been working on 2 quilts for this site recently and I've just put them up... if you'd like to add a square just let me know and I'll be happy to add it to either or both of the quilts for you! I've added links to the quilts in the navigation... the Remembrance Quilt is in the remembrance section along with the "Remembrance Page" and the "In Memory Of..." page. The Friendship Quilt is in the general bits and bobs section along with things like the "Just For Fun" and "General" pages.
I've archived the "What's New" page from the previous version of this site cos this page was getting too long and taking far too long to download. If you'd like to see the "What's New" page from the previous site just follow the link underneath the sub-heading. To get back here you can either hit the back button on your browser or follow the "What's New" link in the navigation bar on the left.
OMG!!! Wow!!! I've just checked my stats for this site and there have been 180 visitors since I put the site back up online on 28th November!! OMFG!! Thank you a million times over to each and every single person who has visited me here in that time! Wow!!! 180 unique visitors in 3 weeks!! I can't believe it!!! Thank you so much!
I've just been accepted by SoLPH! Thank you ladies!
One of my new SoLPH sisters has just allowed me to add one of her poems to my Writings Page... thank you Judith!
10 December 2001
I've added a few bits and bobs around the site over the last few days - see if you can find where they are! :o)
I've added another webring to my webrings page
I've added another membership graphic to the memberships page
6 December 2001
I'm back! It's been touch and go over the last few days and I ended up on the doorstep of my local hospital several times 'cos I was so desperate to be thrown in the loony bin... but I guess I'm still here - not sure if that's a good thing or not right now so we'll have to wait and see :o\
I've given WOSIB a place on my "Mandy Recommends" page (there's a link to it on the Links Page) - they've been going for just over a year and they've already got well over 800 members! It's definitely worth joining up!
I'm trying to find a way to do something special for my Remembrance page and also for my In Memory Of... pages. I'm trying to throw myself into doing stuff online so that I don't lose my few remaining marbles - if anyone has any ideas of ways I could make the pages extra special I'd love to hear from you!
I'm thinking of putting another section on the site too but I'm not sure what to call it... I don't even know how to describe it! If any of you saw my previous version of this site where I had my diary here then it'll be sort of like some of the pages in there... sort of musings or thoughts on various things I guess. Anyway, that's in the pipeline along with a couple of other "fun" things but tbh I'm really not in the mood for working on the "fun" stuff right now... just want to kind of wallow in my misery for a while?
If you've got any ideas of other things I could add to the site or if you can think of something you'd like to see that isn't here just gimme a yell and I'll see what I can come up with! :o)
3 December 2001
It's with a very heavy heart that I'm updating this page today. I've just found out I've lost another friend to suicide. I'm really not coping with being online at all right now so there won't be any updates to the website today or for the next few days but please keep on coming back to visit me here - just knowing that people are still visiting my site even when I'm hurting too much to update it helps me to know that you care.
1 December 2001
I've just won a New Cyber Tech award for this site!! Thank you so much New Cyber Tech!
I've added a few little bits and pieces all around the site... see if you can find what I've added! ;o)
28 November 2001
I'm back online!!! Wooohooooooo!!!! After about 6 months of being offline I'm finally back!!
Thank you so much to everyone who supported me when I first had to take it down - your support means the world to me and without you I doubt I would have put this site back up so this is for you guys!
I'd also like to say a huge thank you to my many friends who have put up with me and given me the hope I needed to carry on. Without you guys *I* wouldn't be here!
A big thank you also goes out to everyone who joined the mailing list for this site while I was down... thank you for having faith and confidence in me and thank you for your interest in my site and for your support. Thank you so much.
Most of you won't know why I had to take this site down and I'm so so sorry that I took it down so suddenly. Something happened that put my safety in danger and the only way I could stand any chance of protecting myself was to take this site down. I still don't feel safe having it back online but I've taken off a lot of the stuff that I had on here before that would have put me in danger so I guess I feel OKish about having the site back up but I'm still not comfortable about it... I guess it'll just take me a bit of time :o\
So, what's new? Too much to mention here! lol
There's yet another new look lol - one of these days I'm going to settle on a design for this site that I like/am happy with!! lol
There's a couple of new sections and I've rearranged the navigation a bit so that all the different parts of the site are arranged in a block together.
There's more opportunity for you guys - yes... you!! - to participate in what goes into this site. I've added a section called "Our World" where you guys can add your experiences of various things related to Depression. If your experiences don't fit into any of the pages I've already got up then fret not - just let me know and I'll add another section.
If you're worried about being identified then don't be. If you prefer I can put your experiences up here using a totally different name or I can just call you "anon" if you don't want any name at all. I know how hard it is to have very personal information up on a website (hey, I've put my heart and soul into this site - this is me without my guard so if I can do it then so can you!) so I want to make you feel as comfortable as possible with having your story here. If you want me to keep your identity confidential then just let me know when you contact me and I'll be happy to keep your details totally confidential - it will only be me who knows your real identity - nobody else.
The Creative Corner has changed slightly and I hope it's easier to navigate and get around now... if you've got any poetry, writing, art, music, graphics or anything else you'd like to share with the visitors to the site then just let me know and I'll gladly add it for you!
I know that on some sites you get asked to submit bits and pieces to include on their site and you're sat there thinking "my work isn't good enough" or "they wouldn't want my stuff" or "they won't give me credit" and all that kind of stuff. I'd just like to say here and now that ain't going to happen on this site. I *want* you to send me your stuff.
Hey, if it's creative then I want it on this site!! Come on, if I can put the stuff I've done on here then you guys can too!! I'm far from artistic when it comes to drawing and all that arty stuff but I've still given it a shot and I've still put it up here and I want you guys to feel you can do that too. If you want to remain anonymous or use a different name that's totally OK by me. I will always give you credit for your work and if you want me to link to your website or if you want me to link to your email addy I can do that too... I *do* want your work on here and I *will* give you credit.
What else...
Well, as you may or may not have noticed I'm no longer using Geocities for this site... I've found a host for my domain name at last and after a few initial teething problems here I am minus those annoying adverts!!
Oh there's just so much stuff I've been working on and I've got a couple of ideas in the pipeline too that I haven't done anything about yet so keep on checking back for updates to the site!!
If you've read this far you deserve a medal!! lol
Don't worry, I won't keep you any longer... there's just so much stuff that I've added, changed, updated, moved or whatever on this site that I can't even remember anymore!! lol Just hit one of the links in the navigation bar to go to a page and see what I've done!
I've added the "what's new" from my previous site below this just for information and stuff.
I really do hope you like what I've done!! Remember to change any bookmarks that you had set to Geocities and *please* pass the URL for this site on to anyone else you think may be helped by seeing it. My aim with this site is still the same as it always has been - to help people to feel less alone and to help to raise awareness of Depression and everything associated with it.
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