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If you have already injured yourself in an attempt at suicide, please phone 999 (or your country phone number for the emergency services) before you do anything else, and then follow this link, print off the page, fill it in (if you can) and take it with you to hospital. If you have more time you may prefer to download this form if you have Microsoft Word.
I'd just like to start off by saying that if you are feeling suicidal now, please give me 5 minutes to talk to you. Please do something for me? If you are suicidal then please visit this link first. It will only take 5 minutes to read and it really does help.
If you are in the UK or Ireland you can also call the Samaritans on
08457 90 90 90 if you are in the UK
or
1850 60 90 90 if you are in the Republic of Ireland.
Or if you have a text phone you can reach them on:
08457 90 91 92 if you are in the UK
or
1850 60 90 91 if you are in the Republic of Ireland.
If you prefer, you can e-mail them at jo@samaritans.org
If you're outside the UK and you need to talk to someone, visit this page to find a helpline number for your Country.
If you've lost someone through suicide and you're in the UK then give Survivors of Bereavement By Suicide a call on 0870 241 3337 - I don't know what they're like but if you phone them can you let me know what you think please?
Warning Signs
Some of the warning signs of someone who may be suicidal are below. If you have any others that I could add to the list please let me know.
Withdrawal from friends and family
No desire to go out
Inability to concentrate or think clearly
Change in eating or sleeping habits
Major changes in appearance
Talk about feeling hopeless
Feeling guilty
Talk about suicide
Talk about death
Talk about "going away"
Self destructive behaviour (be aware that this may not be a warning sign of suicide, instead it may be the persons form of self harm). Examples of self destructive behaviours include:
Drinking alcohol excessively
Taking drugs
Driving too fast
Not looking as they cross roads
No desire to take part in favourite things or activities
Giving away favourite possessions
Suddenly very happy or cheerful moods after being depressed for a long time (although this may not be a warning sign of suicide - it may be a depressive disorder - try to get them to talk to their doctor about these feelings)
They become sad, withdrawn, tired, apathetic, anxious, irritable or prone to feeing very angry
They do less well at work or School/College - grades or work related performance declines
Neglect themselves - allow their welfare and appearance to decline
Start eating and/or sleeping a lot or very little
Deliberately disobeying medical advice
Made previous serious or "practice/mini" attempts
Saying to someone that they are suicidal or want to die/kill themselves
Making plans for their suicide or funeral
Making a Will or giving away their favourite things
How a suicidal person may be feeling
Overwhelming pain (emotional and/or physical) that is beyond their coping threshold
Hopelessness - things can only get worse
Powerless - there's nothing more they can do... they've tried everything
Worthlessness
Shame
Guilt
Fear of losing control of themselves and the situation
Self hatred
Feeling that no-one cares
Things that *may* have made them suicidal
Death of a close friend or relative
Someone close to them being diagnosed with a terminal illness
Divorce or separation (either they from their partner or of a close relative)
Family problems which are causing tension within the family
Decline in their health
Loss of a job
Loss of their house
Debt
Loss of Family
Drug abuse
Alcohol abuse
Depression
Memories of their past
Going through a difficult period - anniversaries of losses etc
Just before and just after the diagnosis of a major illness
Uncertainty about themselves and or/the future
How to help someone who is suicidal
Do
Listen - Let them say whatever they want to say without interruption
Allow them to explore their feelings
Be sympathetic
Remain calm and be patient with them
Give them time - let them find the words in their own time, don't try and give them words for their feelings unless they ask
Be yourself - there are no right or wrong words (although the lists on the support page may help).
Take them and the situation seriously
Remember that sometimes suicidal feelings and behaviour is a cry for help
Try and get them professional help as soon as possible
Try and get them to accept professional help
Let them know that they aren't alone and they can recover from feeling like this
Get them urgent medical help if they have already started making the attempt on their life. Get their permission to call the emergency services and try and find out as much information about the situation they are currently in as possible... what have they taken, how much, when. Or if they have used some other method find out as much as possible about that... how deep is the cut, how much is it bleeding, how fast, how long for, is it spurting etc.
Don't
Don't judge them - accept them for who they are, how they are feeling, and what they say
Don't be afraid to talk about their plans - it won't make them more suicidal, it will help them to know that you are interested and want to help
Don't put a time limit on how long they can talk for - let them talk for as long as they need to
Argue with them
Try to solve all their problems for them
Give advice unless they ask for it
Make them feel that they have to justify their feelings
Break any of their confidences to you - they have trusted you to be there for them when they are extremely vulnerable so don't break that trust.
Leave them alone if they are actively suicidal
If you would like to know more then you may find the links below helpful. I haven't visited them all so I don't know what the sites are like... please don't hold me responsible for anything you read on any of the sites - I've just linked to them, I haven't written them. They will all open in a new window.
General
Suicide read this first
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
Suicide @ rochford.org
http://www.rochford.org/suicide/
Suicide Prevention
http://members.tripod.com/~suicideprevention/
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide
Contains conversations and writings for suicidal persons to read. If you're
feeling at all suicidal, be sure to read this page before you take any action.
It might just save your life.
Befrienders
International - Find a crisis helpline phone number for your Country here
UK
The Samaritans in the
United Kingdom
http://www.samaritans.org.uk/
http://www.befrienders.org/email.html (A 24-Hour confidential e-mail service by the Samaritans)
USA/Canada/Worldwide
American Foundation for
Suicide Prevention
http://www.afsp.org/
http://kidshelp.sympatico.ca
A service for young people - also addresses issues other than suicide.
San Francisco Suicide Prevention (SFSP)
Services are provided 24 hours a day by over 250 trained volunteers. Basic
information on suicide (warning signs, advice, statistics and more) is also
featured.
http://www.sfsuicide.org/
Crisis Support Services of Alameda County, California
Services provided include 24-Hour Telephone Counseling, Grief Counseling,
Stress Counseling, Community Education Program, Seniors Program.
http://www.crisissupport.org/index.htm
National Crisis Helpline - for use in locating the nearest crisis service in
the United States - 1-800-999-9999
Copyright Mandy 2000 onwards - All Rights Reserved