If you have cut yourself and the injury is spurting then please dial 999 (or your countries phone number for the emergency services), follow this link, print off the page, fill it in (if you can) and take it with you to hospital. If you have more time you may prefer to download this form if you have Microsoft Word.
If you Self Harm it's a good idea to get some basic First Aid training so that you know how to look after your cut and you know what to do if something goes wrong.
If you don't know First Aid and something has gone wrong or something unexpected has happened then this link (bleeding) or this link (burns) or this link (broken/fractured bones) or this link (overdose) gives you some information about how to deal with it, but it is no substitute for proper First Aid training.
If you need hospital treatment for your injury, but it is not an emergency, follow the advice given on the above website, follow this link, print off the page, fill it in (if you can) and take it with you to hospital.
If you are trying to resist the urge to Self-Harm then skip straight on to these alternatives.
Who Self Harms? Lots of people. There is no way that you can say if someone harms themselves or not unless they tell you.
What is Self Harm? It's basically anything you do to deliberately hurt yourself.
Where do you Self Harm? It's up to the individual, but personally when I started scratching and cutting I used my wrists. When I subscribed to ASS-H, I soon realised how dangerous it was so I moved onto cutting my upper arms. I still scratch my wrists.
Why do you Self Harm? It's the only way I can release all my pent up emotions.
When do you Self Harm? Personally, I can only do it when I'm on my own. If there is someone else around then I can't do it... I have to go off on my own or try and resist the urge until I'm on my own.
I've been Self Harming in various ways since I was 10 years old. I started off by pulling my hair out of my head. I didn't realise it was Self Harm at the time but that's when I started although recently I've been remembering times when I was about 3 or 4 years old and I would hit and punch myself every night just so that I could sleep. I think I figured that if it was OK for my father to hit me then it was OK for me to hit me too.
When I didn't get any benefit from pulling my hair out I started punching and hitting myself. After that I started punching walls shortly followed by banging my head on walls. When I didn't get any relief from that anymore I started scratching my arms and from there I moved onto cutting. I burn myself now too.
Nothing gives quite the same release as cutting for me so I'm still cutting my arms and scratching my wrists but I don't do it as often because I've got burning now too which sometimes helps me to release my emotions.
Sometimes people ask me how urges feel and what I get out of SH and why I do it. If you'd like to see how I describe it, then just follow this link... it'll open in a new window :o)
At the moment I feel like I still need to keep Self Harming, but I think it's always good to have a list of things you can do instead of hurting yourself.
This is a list of alternatives to Self Harm that you might like to try instead.
Elastic Band
If you want to experience the pain you get when you Self Harm, try wearing an
elastic band around your wrist. Whenever you get the urge to hurt
yourself snap it against you wrist.
Ice Cubes
This one is also good if you want to experience the pain of Self Harm.
Hold an ice cube in your hand (or several cubes if they are small) until your
hand starts hurting. If you need more pain than this provides, you could
try squeezing the ice cubes in your hand.
5/4/3/2/1
If it's control that you want to experience with Self harm, this might help
you. Try and name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things
you can smell, 2 things you can touch and 1 thing you like about yourself.
Playdough
This is good for expressing anger as well as an alternative to Self Harm.
For this you need to make some playdough (red if you are using it for Self
Harm). Put the playdough where you want to cut and use a *blunt* knife to
cut through it. If you want to use it for anger, the process of making it
(kneading the dough etc) will help to express the anger and also by squeezing
and punching it, you will be able to express the anger you are feeling.
If you want a recipe for playdough, just let me know :o)
Marker Pens and Food Colouring
This is good to use if you like the blood of Self Harm. Use a red marker
pen or felt tip pen and draw a mark where you would usually cut. Do it
the same as you would if you were cutting, so if you do small, angry cuts, do
the same with the pen. If you need something more you can add food
colouring to the mark you have just made to represent the blood.
Music
Depending on how you are feeling when you get the urge to Self Harm, listening
to music can sometimes help... get up and dance along to it or sit and cry...
listen to whichever sort of music feels good for you at the time.
Have a Bath or Shower
If you are feeling tense then this is a good one to do. The water and the
temperature should ease the feelings of tension and help you to relax.
Talk to a Mate
This is good for however you feel too. If you have an understanding
friend that you can trust, then phone them or meet them online or whatever and
just let rip. If you are angry then shout and yell at them, if you are
sad then cry your eyes out. Just use your friend as a venting ground
until you feel better.
Keep a Diary (Journal)
If you don't feel comfortable or able to express how you feel out loud, you
might find it helpful to keep a diary and write down how you feel in there...
again, let rip. If you are worried about people seeing what you have
written then it might help to buy a lockable diary and keep it with you.
Stay in a Public Place
If, like me, you don't feel comfortable harming yourself unless you are on your
own, this might help. It will be hard, but staying out in public where
there is a crowd of people might stop you from hurting yourself. It won't
take away the urges but it might stop you from Self Harming while you are out.
Watch a Film (movie)
If you do this one, be careful which type of film you choose to see. Try
and make sure that it won't have anything in it that will trigger you and try
and make sure that it will *stop* you from wanting to Self Harm, rather than
increase your urges.
Go for a Drive or Ride
your Bike
Some friends have told me that this really helps. I haven't tried this
method myself, but apparently it does work.
Relaxation/Deep
Breathing
If you are feeling panicky or tense then this might help you to relax and get
through your urges. There are lots of methods you can use, but a good
basic one is to sit comfortably, back straight, close your eyes and breathe in
through your nose and out through your mouth. Try and fill your lungs as
full as possible when you breathe in and empty your lungs as much as you can
when you breathe out. Count slowly from 1 to 5 as you breathe in and
count back from 5 to 1 when you breathe out... concentrating on your breathing
the whole time.
Read a Book
Depending on how you are feeling at the time this might help. If you can
find a good book that you can really get into and really enjoy then it might
take away the intensity of your urges.
Exercise/Go for a Walk
This is good if you are feeling angry. Try and spend some time at a gym
burning off all your feelings while you are there or you could do some sit-ups
or press-ups at home. Maybe you could go for a walk. If you go for
the walking option, it is usually a good idea to try and walk briskly if you
can.
Do Some Housework
Yes, I am serious!! :o) Get the vacuum cleaner out and go through
the house going over all the floors or do some washing up. Maybe you
could scrub the bathroom clean or clean out all the kitchen cupboards.
Go Shopping
My favourite!!! :o) Different people like different sorts of
shopping. Some enjoy supermarket shopping, some like clothes shopping,
some people like going around market stalls... whatever is your favourite way
to shop, do it!! It might help to leave your money and credit cards at
home though... if you find something you like you can go back for it later.
:o)
Treat yourself
For every hour that you don't harm yourself, treat yourself to
something. I treat myself to chocolate - it's no good for dieters but it
works for me! :o) Maybe treat yourself to an hour online
researching your ideal holiday or something like that?
If you aren't sure how you are feeling, then I've added a list below of feelings and things that you can try to relieve the feelings. If you can think of anything I can add to the list please let me know :o)
Sad, melancholic, depressed or unhappy
Relax in a warm bath
Curl up under a big warm duvet with a hot drink and a good book
Put on some calming, relaxing music and rub baby oil or moisturiser into the parts of you that you want to cut
Phone a mate and have a chat about whatever takes your fancy
Take yourself off to bed with a trayful of treats
Visit a good friend
Angry, restless or frustrated
Rip up an old piece of clothing
Try and tear up a thick cardboard box
Smash an empty soft drinks bottle against a wall
Crunch up soft drinks cans
Go to the gym and hit out at one of those punchbag thingybobs
Use a pillow or cushion and bash it against a wall
Rip up as many pages of an old newspaper as you can in one go
Use playdough to take out all your feelings
Go for a walk and break up any sticks you find along the way
Do some housework
Do some exercise/go for a walk
Needing to feel something, feeling depersonalised, feeling unreal or dissociating
Take some ice into your hands and squeeze it *hard*
Put a frozen pack of peas (or whatever) on the area you want to hurt
Bite into or chew something (food-wise) that tastes hot or nasty
Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it hard
Have a cold bath or shower
Needing to focus on something
Play a game on the computer that requires concentration
Find something in the room and examine it closely. Write a detailed description of it including as much information as you can and then try and list all it's possible uses. Try and get the list to 25 - if you can find that many uses try and find 40
Open up a search engine and do a search for the first word that comes into your head. Go to each page in turn
Start off at one web page and follow links from that site to other sites and see how far away from the original topic you can get
Wanting to see blood or burns
Use food colouring on the places you want to see blood
Use a marker pen to draw where you want to see the burns
If you've tried the stuff I've already mentioned and it hasn't helped, you might like to try some or all of the distractions I've listed below:
Pump up the volume of your favourite music and doodle on a piece of paper in time to it
Spin yourself round on the spot until you get dizzy
Buy a colouring book and some colouring pencils and colour in some of the pictures
Curl up in bed with a soft toy
Do some finger painting with food - ice cream, chocolate pudding, jam, custard... try all sorts of different things
Get creative - try writing poetry or a story or drawing or painting how you feel
Go for a walk and smile at everyone you see. If you are feeling braver, say hello to everyone too.
Pop bubblewrap
Follow all the links on my Links Page, then follow all the links from the pages I'm linked to, then all the links to the pages they are linked to... keep going for as long as you can.
Start at one page on the internet and follow all the links from that page and see how far away from the original subject you can get - try following links so that you go from depression sites to sites about positive things
Plan your ideal holiday in your mind and then try and research it all online - destinations, prices, tickets, what there is to do when you get there... as much as you can find.
Look into learning yoga or meditation
Go through magasines and catalogues and cut out all the words and pictures that make you feel good
Hug a soft toy
Take your imagination on a journey to a favourite place
Create a safe place for yourself - somewhere you can go when you are feeling bad
Make a list of all the things that are good about yourself
Make a list of affirmations for yourself and read them aloud to yourself
Buy yourself a special plant and take extra special care of it
Do something for someone - go shopping for them, take their dog for a walk etc
Do something for yourself - spend some time doing what *you* want to do
Plan your next holiday and do as much of it as you can online. You don't have to book anything but plan as much as you can right down to the smallest detail
Join a Self Harm mailing list or the Self Harm newsgroup and post to it
Phone a friend and have a chat (thanks for this suggestion, Mazzie!)
Arrange to see or go out with a friend (thanks for this one too, Mazzie!!)
Go to an online gaming site and try out all the games. When you've done them all go back to the first one and try and improve on the first attempt
Create a neopet - it
really does work - I spent 7 hours on the site when I first signed up!
Click on my neopet to join.
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