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White Ribbon Campaign
I really do wish I didn't have to cover r*pe on this site - I wish that r*pe didn't happen and I really wish that nobody had to write about it. The sad truth is though, that I can wish until I'm blue in the face but it won't stop it happening. R*pe happens and I want to bring attention to it and I want to help the victims of r*pe.
Hopefully there will be a difference between this r*pe page and any others that you read. Some of the sites I've read and people I've talked to have tried to push me into reporting my r*pe. I won't do that on this page. If you want to report it to the police then that's OK but if you don't want to that's OK too. I won't push you either way because there is only one person who can make choices for you and that's you.
It is up to you if you go to the police or not. Don't let others make you feel guilty if you decide not to although I know only too well how hard that can be. The sad fact is that it was *you* that was r*ped and only *you* can make the decision about going to the police because only *you* know how you feel.
If you are confused then talk to others about what has happened to you but don't let them pressure you one way or the other. The only person who can make the choice is you - it is your right to decide what you want to do.
So, how do you cope? I really don't know tbh.
If you have only just been r*ped (within the last few hours) then *please* consider going to hospital to get yourself checked out. Let them know what happened and ask them to help you. If they ask you if you want to get the police involved don't let them pressure you. Be honest. If you know that you *do* want to report it then let the hospital staff know. If you aren't sure if you want to report it or not then tell them that you are confused and you need some time to think. Don't let them pressure you. If you know that you don't want to report it then let them know that you were r*ped but make it clear that you don't want to report it and you just want to be checked out and get any medical treatment you might need.
The most important person in all of this is *you*. You need to do what feels right for you. If you need to go off and cry then do it, if you need to talk about it then do it, if you need to scream and shout then do it - do what feels right for you... just *please* make sure you don't put yourself in any kind of danger and that you keep yourself safe.
There are support groups all over the internet for people who have been r*ped. Please consider joining one of those groups... you don't have to say anything until you are ready but just being around people who have had similar experiences to you may help you more than you realise.
If you feel able to confide in someone IRL then this could be a great source of support too. This could be a friend or relative that you trust or it could be your family doctor or maybe even a counsellor. If you aren't sure about which way to turn to get support IRL a good first port of call would be your family doctor. You don't necessarily have to tell them about the r*pe if you aren't comfortable with them knowing, you could just ask them for details of counsellors in your area. You may also be able to find some information in your local telephone directory about counsellors or support groups.
If you don't feel comfortable saying the words maybe you could consider writing down what happened... keep a diary (journal) of your thoughts and feelings and maybe you could write a letter to your r*pist telling them exactly what you think of them.
If you do this then don't hold back - really let rip and tell them exactly what you think of them and what they did to you. It may give you a sense of relief/release to then set fire to the letter and watch it slowly burn (be careful of where you set light to it though so that you don't cause a bigger fire than you intended to). A word of warning though... don't do anything with the letter that you might later regret. Put it aside somewhere and leave it for a few hours/days before you decide what to do with it.
No matter what you decide to do and no matter how you cope, just remember that the most important person in all of this is *you*.
Something that I think is very important but that is very rarely talked about is male r*pe. Yes, it really does happen and no, there's not enough information out there about it.
Obviously I don't know what it's like to be the victim of male r*pe, but I can't see why the things I've written above can't be helpful to both male and female r*pe victims. There isn't enough information out there about r*pe in general, let alone about male r*pe.
If you are the victim of male r*pe and you are in the UK, there is an organisation set up especially to help you. Their website is at Mankind UK or you can snail-mail them at: Mankind UK, PO Box 124, Newhaven, Sussex, England or phone them on 01273 510447.
If you're in America then the following (below) may help:
You don't have to go through this alone.
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