Flashbacks. Hmmm. This is a toughie.
I'm not sure what to say about flashbacks. I've been having a lot of them recently, both during the day and also at night. It's got to the stage where I'm afraid to close my eyes because of the images. This in itself is bad enough but I'm also an insomniac so what little sleep I get is very important to me.
I suppose I've always had flashbacks but up until the last few months I've always been able to cope with them. Not anymore. They are just so incredibly vivid and real now and I didn't know how to cope with them so I asked some friends how they dealt with them, and thanks to those suggestion I'm starting to learn to cope with the flashbacks and nightmares and starting to get control of my life back again now.
What did they suggest? There were several thing that they suggested so I'll put them all in a list along with some others that I've found have helped me and some other ideas I've found on the internet at the bottom of this page or follow this link to jump straight to that part of this page.
So what happens when you have a flashback? It's different for everyone, but basically it's a very vivid memory that you can't control and you can't stop. In my experience flashbacks are always very disturbing experiences although I don't see why you couldn't have a positive flashback - I've just never experienced one. With flashbacks it's almost like you are back in the place and time you are flashing back to... you're reliving the whole experience again. Some people only see the flashback but others (like me) feel the physical pain of the flashback too. I wouldn't wish physical flashbacks on my worst enemy.
When I have a flashback it's like the present doesn't exist - I'm living in my flashback and I have to go through living it until it starts fading. I haven't found a way to control or stop my flashbacks yet so when I have them I just have to try and make it as painless as possible which is a lot harder than it sounds.
Here's the list of suggestions to help you cope with flashbacks:
Try and focus on something pleasant - a pleasant smell or feeling, something that reminds you of when you were happy or something that relaxes you.
Try lighting scented candles and concentrate on the smell they give off - try and describe the smell and the colours in the flame of the candle
Do something you can focus on... just something simple, if you've got a pet try stroking them and focus on what you are doing
Use playdough to take out any angry feelings - really beat it up! :o)
If you want to be held and it doesn't make the flashback worse, maybe ask a friend or relative to hold you and talk gently to you until the flashback is over
Try "flooding". Go to your bedroom (or another safe place) at least twice a day and think of the event that causes you to have a flashback (for me it's mainly the r*pe and a*use although sometimes it's the miscarriage too). Think about the event all the way from beginning to end in as much detail as you can. You may not be able to run through the whole event the first time you do it, but try and keep doing it until you can go all the way through the event.
Try to tell yourself that they aren't real and that it happened in the past. Try to tell yourself that although the thoughts and feelings are very real they can't hurt you now.
Remind yourself that you are a strong person. You survived the event when it happened and you can get through this too.
Try to "ground" yourself. Touch and feel things around you - stamp your feet, touch the walls, smell the air, look at everything in the room around you
Try and concentrate on your breathing - breathe in through your nose to a slow count of 5 and out through your mouth to a slow count of 5
Do something to make you feel safe and comfortable - wrap yourself up in a duvet, curl up in a ball... whatever works for you
Maybe try some of the things on the list of alternatives on the Self Harm Page of this site
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