Mandy's Depression Homepage

Child A*use. *shudder* This page is going to be so hard and triggering to write :o(

So, what is Child A*use? Well, according to this page it's "non-accidental physical injury or emotional disturbance". Doesn't really tell you that much does it?

I guess there is no easy way to answer this question because everyone's definition of a*use and discipline are different. Would you call smacking a child on the bum a*use or discipline? Some would say one thing, some would say another. Neither is right and neither is wrong - it is just their opinions and beliefs and every person has a right to those opinions and beliefs.

Personally, I know that in my mind, what I suffered was a*use. Even after living away from home for so long I still don't feel safe or comfortable enough to talk about this area of my life. I guess to a degree I'm still in denial... I know that it happened but I just can't admit to, or think about, what happened to me in any kind of detail.

I have no memories of my life before I moved away from home *at all*. The only time I get snippets of memories is when I'm having a flashback. If I try and think back to what life was like before I moved in with my fiance it's just totally black. I can't remember anything at all. I see photo's of me as a child or even as a teenager and I don't remember anything - it's like I'm looking at a photo of a stranger but the stranger has my face.

How do you cope if you've been a*used as a child? TBH I haven't got a clue. I've still got everything blocked out and I only remember when I have flashbacks to the a*use and when I have those flashbacks I just totally lose the plot and coping is the last thing you could describe me as doing.

If anyone has any ideas of things that could help you to cope with an a*usive childhood or any suggestions on ways to cope with flashbacks to the a*use I'd love to hear from you.

I want to add more to this page but I'm being triggered really badly just from writing this and I can't cope with writing any more right now so when I'm feeling more stable I'll add more information here so please keep on checking back! :o)

One of the groups I'm with, RAOK, have created a page about Child A*use that has *loads* of links... if you'd like to see their page just click on the graphic below.

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